


Hungry For More

by LeaderOfTheShadows



Series: The Dark Lord and I [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 15:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18501517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeaderOfTheShadows/pseuds/LeaderOfTheShadows
Summary: This is the food diary of the Dark Lord.Or, the documentation of his anguish of the lack of said food. And his fluffy house-life with a certain Severus Snape.Those who read Presents For Severus Snape, it's a Nutella sequel.(M/M, part of a series, crack, craziness)





	Hungry For More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elyrian_XIII](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elyrian_XIII/gifts).



> My dear friend BeyondHope and I was talking about about diets and sports, and after the Nutella-eating part of the series, this needed to be written, I guess.
> 
> BeyondHope, if you're reading - I wrote this fic to strengthen our resolve to stick to our health(y-eating) plan, hopefully you don't hate it! I wonder if this fits to our series timeline a bit earlier onto their marriage maybe?
> 
> Oh and I know that the Avengers movies came out much later on than our possible timeline here, so Sev and Tom could not possibly watch and reference it, especially not from the TV, but I only recently discovered the Marvel universe and could not resist the small mention so close to Endgame (already have my tickets for 25th, how 'bout you guys? XD)
> 
> XOXO  
> LeaderOfTheShadows

"This is your bloody fault, you know," Severus muttered to the Dark Lord, who was now trying real hard to hide a smile, and take him seriously.

"I _am_ indeed so charming you're barely to blamed for wanting and adoring me just as everyone else does. But you have an advantage they don't: in your case the feelings are mutual."

A well-aimed curse might have just only missed the Dark Lord by only an inch, and only because his extraordinary/Dark-Lord-Worthy reflexes did he have the time to put up a shield and misdirect it enough.

Which signaled that his Severus was in pain and he should just listen and thread carefully if he didn't want to sleep on the couch that night.

"Severus, I can assure you, whatever is that you feel wronged for, I didn't do it or ordered someone to do it just to spite you. I would never," he then just said, trying to calm Severus somewhat, not yet daring to step much closer to his husband.

"No, no, you knew from right the beginning what you were doing, and… never in my life! The humiliation! The grievance! And when even Lucius Malfoy just eyes you smugly whenever you meet on the corridor…"

"Sev, Sev, Sev," the Dark Lord now had risked to close most of the distance between them to stop the senseless banter. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you are talking about. You have to-"

"Oh you know! Even a couple of days ago, you remarked it when we were in the bed! Well, guess what-"

"I'm not following-"

"If I have to go on a diet, I will force the elves to feed you nothing else either, only things I am allowed to eat!" Snape then just snapped, but that was okay, because at least now he gave enough detail for his Lord to follow.

At least, one would think the Potion Master was talking about going on a diet, or so it seemed, except that it didn't make any sense when he looked better - hotter - than ever.

"Excuse me?" Tom found himself saying, blinking, trying to process if he heard it right.

"Yes, I am fat! And all because that goddamn Nutella you got me! Look at me! I'm telling you, everyone's eying me differently now…"

Maybe they were, since Severus finally managed to put on some weight and was positively glowing apart from the times when he wanted to curse Tom to his death (depending on his mood, there was no in between), but that was definitely not connected to Severus being fat.

Although, the Dark Lord felt he really didn't like anyone eyeing Severus, so if it was because Sev wasn't see-through anymore, he should put up a cursing charm or two for anyone else eyeing him, but-

"Severus, you aren't…"

"Don't you dare! It's one thing you feed me tons of Muggle chocolate and then an entirely other if you lie about it to my face-"

At that point, there was no convincing Severus about how people were staring because he was irresistible, not because he was a laughing-stock, and if Tom was honest with himself, he didn't want Sev to truly know.

There was no way he wanted other people running after _his husband_ , after all, especially not someone like aforementioned Lucius Malfoy…

"I'm sure with some exercise you shall be fine, Severus," he then just said, trying to minimize the damage while not losing his life to a husband who was only dangerous when angry, but then highly so.

"Exercise?!" the Potion Master, however just almost gaped at him, echoing his words. " _My_ dear _Lord,_ exercise is for people like James Potter who cannot use their minds and have no other recreational activities open to them other than sports!"

"I mean…" Tom started, now trying to think fast to correct himself. True, he didn't especially see the value of chasing charmed balls in the sky either, risking your safety and livelihood while doing it either, and never did he tried any of the Muggle sports before technically, but… "I'd say sex can be categorised as exercise and I would happily take on this gruesome task together with you-"

"I'd rather duel four or five Death Eaters every day to the point of exhaustion taking them up alone-" Snape was now rolling his eyes, which was unlike him, but he still resorted to it now.

"Which can be arranged, if that's what you wish," Lord Voldemort _knew_ some ways to get Severus to get in bed with him anyway, so he tried not to take offence, and just get to a point in conversation where he could tell Severus Happy Birthday, and give him his present.

Although, after this it would be probably wiser to chuck to Nutellas that were also part of the said grand gesture, given that Sev seemed to think it was the blame for the imaginative body fat…

"It's not what- we're eating salad tonight, and I'll need an Unbreakable Vow from you you're only eat what I'm allowed to take, and just as much as me, and not snack behind my back," Severus decided, not even asking him, seemingly serious. "I'll better inform the elves-"

There was no point in stopping Snape, not since Tom had his sane self back anyway, if he liked his head attached to his body.

But he was looking with a desperate look after his husband, his mind now what to do with Severus's strawberry cheesecake he made the elves prepare for the Potion Master's birthday, his stomach giving a growl.

&&&

Day One of their shared diet, it was just mildly irritating Tom when he was constantly hungry.

Day Two of the Awful Idea, he tried to reason with Severus, to no avail. Considered begging, but Slytherin Pride made him postpone it until it was worse.

Day Three of the Horrible Hunger, the Dark Lord really pitied himself for not being allowed to curse anyone to death, feeling more irritated then usual, and constantly getting out the to toilet to pee, because to fight the Hunger the Terrible, he was only allowed to drink some water.

Day Four of Terrible Prospects, he felt too tired to even curse any followers to cheer up like he even lacked the energy to raise his wand. When Severus got to their bed that night, he didn't even try to talk with the Potion Master, given that Sev didn't seem to be as bothered by the hunger as he was. And the Dark Lord couldn't bear the thought that Severus might not have the same excruciating hunger as he did. That would have been just _too_ much.

Day Five of the Worst Nightmare, he thought the worst was over.

Day Six of the Testing Torment, he realized he was wrong about his conclusions on the fifth day, and considered every object he met with new eyes: would it taste terrible if he tried to eat it? Could he chew the pieces of leather, fabric or plants?

Day Seven of in the Hundredth Layer of Hell, he considered begging Severus, but fell asleep without enough sugar to keep him up to meet with his husband at night.

Day Eight of Cheerless Life, Voldemort decided to charm his taste buds to feel sugar in his tea where was none, and the illusion of calories meant his brain seemed to work once again a bit, and that gave him the best idea to suggest exercise again to Severus just to be allowed to eat a little bit more, since they were "starting sports, and needed the energy".

Day Nine of the Unspeakable Devil, he realized sports made hunger only worse, and that exercise made Severus even more temperamental. It was surely a low point that he almost felt a bit better when Severus seemed to hate any form of exercise almost as much as he the godforsaken diet.

Day Ten of the Someone Just Put Out Of My Misery Already, Lord Voldemort fake fainted in his study in false hope that if Severus heard, he'll undo the Unbreakable Vow just to pester him back to health, except it didn't work, because Sev saw through the scheme, and only took away his entire dinner as well, as punishment.

Day Eleven of the Worse Than Black Plague, Surely, Tom considered a piece of chocolate might worth breaking an Unbreakable Vow, and almost asked Regulus to Obliviate the memory of any sweet and decent food out of his mind, just to refuse the temptation easier.

Day Twelve of the Dismalness Supreme, he charmed himself to always think about something else whenever taking food occurred to him, ended up missing his lunch and dinner (even if it was only salad and a vegetable mix juice respectively) and so, woke up at night because the hunger did not let him sleep.

Day Thirteen of the Unbearable Immanity, he pondered if cursing someone from the side of Ligth to force-feed him would trigger as breaking the Vow, since if technically he was forced to comply, he didn't break any promise, when Severus finally appeared, looking for him.

&&&

"So, it seems I finally fit into my old clothes again," he said with a sight.

Tom would have mentioned he would buy Snape new clothing any time without question, but was too hopeful where this conversation was going to interrupt.

"So, we just stop this… diet?" he asked, his voice coaxing, hoping to lure Sev to a positive answer so much it almost was too much.

"We shouldn't, it is good for-"

"Severus, I can't be responsible for my actions if you don't let me eat at least some fruits or meat _right now,_ " Lord Voldemort found himself almost growling that sentence. "I… I feel like I aged at least a thousand years since this diet started, and if I have to drink one more bottle of cleansing juice I'll-"

"You… what are you saying?" the Potion Master just looked at him. "Do you hate it so much?"

"Hate is a strong word," Tom just said, honest without thinking. "So I don't just hate it, I detest it from the bottom of my heart, my empty stomach and my miserable existence which now I have come to since this wrenched-"

Severus just left, and for a second, Voldemort hated himself for cursing the diet so badly when it was Sev's idea, and he…

He'd go through probably a hundred of diets no matter the pain if it was Severus requiring it from him, but it's not how his complaining sounded, surely… if the Potion Master won't forgive him for badmouthing the torture, then he'd hate himself forever for it.

But Sev didn't leave because he was offended, surely, because he had a piece of the cake which survived in their pantry with a Freeze charm, and released the Dark Lord from the Vow with a swirl of his wand.

"Here, it's sweet that you wanted me to have a birthday cake, at least it won't be a complete waste this way," and he put it down in front of Tom, who in _any other_ situation would make sure first if this was not a test or something, but…

Embarrassing it is, he almost ate - _inhaled_ \- the cake in two big "bites" - mouthfuls - and only then did he remember Severus was there in the room with him.

But, when he looked up from the empty plate, Sev didn't seem angry, rather then eyeing him with some kind of fondness.

"What?" he asked, making sure Severus wasn't laughing at him having a piece of cake stuck to his face by wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"I didn't know you were this hungry. You could have told me you know, and I would have let you eat," Severus said, and now was borderline eying him with… pity? Impossible, Dark Lords are not to be-- "I mean I have found that if I don't eat so much and overly greasy food and any sugar, I can concentrate better on my research and my overall mood is much better, but… It's almost funny, you're doing this for my sake, even if you were clearly-"

"Funny? You made me take a Vow!" Tom said, almost upset how his husband now was borderline laughing at him. "I-"

"I make you a deal, _My Lord,_ " the Potion Master must have sensed he was better off the topic now, and wisely changed it, just as his tone. "If you don't make me join you in your daily exercise regiment, I won't force you to eat what I'm eating."

"Exercise is not _that_ bad," Tom found himself surprised to say, because he only took sports to be allowed to eat more, but now that he started getting used to it, it was almost comforting. "I find myself refreshed after it, and it gives you more energy and time to think about what you want to accomplish that day, it's good for stress-"

"I'd rather just do one kind of exercise with you, My Lord," Sev, however just surprised him all the more, halting his ode to sports in the middle.

It was really rare for Severus to suggest anything like that and not just Tom wearing him down to agree, so…

"Oh, I meant weight lifting, of course, my favourite," Snape must have realised his mistake as well, now immediately denying it.

"Weight lifting? Severus, you are worse in that than Steve Rogers doing pushups before he got his power-"

"And your ego is worse than Stark's!" Severus didn't even have to think to rebut that, since now that Death Eaters technically weren't "bad" people anymore, so Regulus bought a tele into the DE Headquarters to pass the time and secretly, Sev and Tom watched it in the night when others weren't there to witness it. "However-"

Tom, who felt almost high on sugar now after the piece of cake, though, did not listen to more of Severus' otherwise usually entertaining banter.

He decided he was hungry for something else now, rather, eagerly capturing Sev's lips with his own, happy that the diet was finally(!) over on his part, and he managed to live through it while…

Severus was thin again, and safe from everyone else, _only his,_ even more so if he didn't join Tom for the exercises to gain some muscles, which was just a very welcomed plus.


End file.
